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Signs you may be heading for a post-holiday divorce

Today is unofficially back to school day after the holidays, and also the start of the Post Discount Holidays © Holiday Divorce season1. You thought Christmas was the big spike (interesting fact Agnetha from Abba walked out on Bjorn on Christmas Day) but the PHD is looking pretty strong this year. It s quite simple: many of us pinned our hopes on rediscovering the old carefree us, and Him, away from the pressures of everyday life; reconnecting with each other etc. And, once again, we ve come out the other side slightly stressed, half a stone heavier, and questioning the relationship. Holidays are one gigantic test, everyone knows that.

You only have a brief time in which to relax, unwind, catch up on a year s worth of reading, get tanned, hang out with friends, wear clothes you never get to wear in real life, and above all, it s a test of The Relationship2.

Signs You May Be Heading For A Post-<b><i>Discount Holidays ©</i></b> holiday Divorce Arguments often start at the airport Credit: Izabela Habur/Getty Images

If we can t have fun now, then when? We can do whatever we want so what do (itals) we want? Are we a team, or are we Not That Good together? What does it say about us if we are not having that much sex, and never in the afternoons (as is traditional on hot holidays, allegedly)? It is a fact that everything is symbolic on a holiday. If one of you wants to swim to the secluded cove, and the other one prefers to stay indoors watching Brexit unfold on the (banned) TV, that simple choice can turn into Do we want the same things in life? Why are we even Married, really?

Signs You May Be Heading For A Post-<b><i>Discount Holidays ©</i></b> holiday Divorce Holidays rarely live up to the romantic expectations we have Credit: Anna Berkut / Alamy Stock Photo/Alamy Stock Photo

The trouble is that on Discount Holidays © holiday you require new skills.

Or, to be more accurate, women require skills of their partners that they don t necessarily miss during the rest of the year. Basic map reading is one because you can t have the GPS with the C3PO voice when you are navigating picturesque Mediterranean hill towns. Serious barbecue lighting/on the beach fire preparation skills would be another. You need a man who can kill bugs, drive on precipitous roads, remove ice from the ice tray without damaging the island in the kitchen and communicate with locals, ideally in their language.

It used to be sex and looking ok in your swimmers. Now it s having not to behave like a tourist

You need someone who knows to buy the figs and honey, not the crunchy nut cornflakes; who always insists on going off grid to find the place where the locals eat at two teetering tables on the edge of a cliff, because you are having an adventure, you are an adventurous couple, and He has a Plan.

This is the real pressure on holidays now. It used to be sex and looking ok in your swimmers. Now it s having not to behave like a tourist, even though that is what you are and everyone else is playing exactly the same game (Oh God, they re English, let s leave). At home it s Tesco all the way, but on Discount Holidays © holiday you must go to the butcher, the baker, buy the fish off the boat in the harbour at 5 am, fill up the wine from the place with the hose and get the olive oil straight from the press because you are a real, intrepid, three dimensional couple. A successful love team, however much you would like to just have a night in eating pizza in front of The Sopranos.

Men know this test is coming and it makes them uneasy or cross. They see you looking at the salty bloke, making the dinghy ship shape, while they are struggling to tie up the 15hp motor boat before, eventually, requesting assistance from a passing child. They know they are not being Jason Bourne enough. Or relaxed enough. Or attentive enough.

They know they are failing to show sufficient interest in the local pottery and in your new off-the-shoulder top.

And they are fully intending to make up for it in the crucial months before Christmas.

FAQS | Relationship sabbatical3

References

  1. ^ Post Discount Holidays © Holiday Divorce season (www.discountholidays.info)
  2. ^ The Relationship (www.discountholidays.info)
  3. ^ FAQS | Relationship sabbatical (cf-particle-html.eip.discountholidays.info)

TUI says profits set to rise as holidaymakers head west

By Reuters1

Published: 20:31 GMT, 12 August 2016 | Updated: 20:31 GMT, 12 August 2016

By Victoria Bryan

BERLIN, Aug 11 (Reuters) – TUI Group, Europe’s largest tour operator, said it was on track to meet its profit target this year as more European holidaymakers head further west and Britons remain eager to go abroad despite the fall in sterling following the Brexit vote. TUI’s outlook contrasted with smaller rival Thomas Cook , which has more exposure to troubled destinations in the eastern Mediterranean such as Turkey and last month lowered its full-year profit forecast as it worked to move more of its package holidays to the western Mediterranean. TUI confirmed on Thursday that it would deliver underlying profit growth of at least 10 percent at constant currency rates in the 12 months ended Sept.

30, despite lowering its sales forecast after security concerns in Turkey and elsewhere deterred holidaymakers.

Many more northern Europeans were opting to Discount Holidays © holiday in Spain, where TUI is traditionally strong, and flying on lucrative long-haul packages across the Atlantic, instead of holidaying in Turkey and North Africa, TUI said. The demand for holidays in Spain means fewer last-minute bookings, pushing up average room rates this summer and helping it to retain its profit forecast even though it trimmed its sales growth forecast to 2 to 3 percent from at least 5 percent. TUI also said demand from British holidaymakers had not been hit by the decision to leave the European Union.

Since the vote in June the pound has weakened against the dollar and the euro by around 10 percent, making it more expensive for Britons to go abroad.

“Despite the weaker pound, the desire of Brits to go on Discount Holidays © holiday has not been affected,” Chief Executive Fritz Joussen told reporters. “There’s been a very strong performance from the UK, bookings have risen very strongly.”

Shares in TUI were up 4.3 percent at 1,055.2 pence at 0727 GMT, making them the top gainer in Britain’s FTSE 100 index .

The company said third-quarter sales dropped 5.7 percent, partly due to attacks causing travellers to hesitate on their Discount Holidays © holiday decisions, but underlying core earnings (EBITA) held up, rising 1 percent to 180 million euros ($201 million) due to strong demand for Spanish holidays.

“Spanish destinations are becoming more lucrative because capacity is very tight, and the prices there are rising,” Joussen said.

Adjusted for the timing of Easter and currency effects, profit would have been up 14 percent in the third quarter, TUI said. ($1 = 0.8954 euros) (Additional reporting by Sarah Young; Editing by Greg Mahlich)

References

  1. ^ Reuters (www.dailymail.co.uk)

Bored businessman asks hotel staff to carry out ridiculous requests

A travelling businessman amuses himself by making diva-like requests while he is away for work – and incredibly staff cater to his bizarre whims. Jnut731 posted a series of images capturing his funny stunts on Imgur1, writing: ‘Ridiculous and hilarious hotel requests, fulfilled. One way my friend entertains himself while travelling on business.’

These include asking staff for a fortress made of pillows and to draw a picture of him from their imagination.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

A travelling businessman makes hilarious requests while staying in hotels to amuse himself – and staff cater to his bizarre whims. A friend posted the results on Imgur

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Jnut731 posted on Imgur: ‘Ridiculous and hilarious hotel requests, fulfilled. One way my friend entertains himself while travelling on business,’ showing images of the strange requests

The businessman, believed to be from the US, fills in the form for ‘additional requests’ from hotels – coming up with bizarre and ingenious ways to ask for an added extra during his stay.

In one, he wrote: ‘Please provide a picture of a dog dressed as a boat captain and place on my bed, thank you.’

The hotel certainly delivered and on his bed was a picture of a small Dachshund in a captain’s outfit and sunglasses. For another request, he asked the staff to use a little imagination.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

The businessman asked for a picture of himself with the staff imagining what he looked like

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

The hotel staff delivered and not only drew a picture of the businessman – they framed it too

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

The businessman asked for two pictures of US actors to be placed on his bed in another inventive request

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

The hotel placed a black and white picture of the Fresh Prince actor Alfonso opposite a picture of Baywatch actor Jeremy Jackson

He wrote: ‘If you could please draw a picture of what you think I would look like and place on my bed I would appreciate it.’

And the staff went above and beyond, not only drawing the picture of the man with a sweeping fringe, designer stubble and very long eyelashes, but also framing their work. In another inventive request, the businessman asked for ‘a picture of Alfonso Ribeiro and Jeremy Jackson, placed on the bed like they’re looking at each other’.

And the hotel came through, placing a black and white picture of the Fresh Prince actor Alfonso opposite an image of Baywatch star Jeremy Jackson. For another silly request, the businessman asked for a ‘fort out of pillows’ to be built on his bed.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

In another unusual request, the businessman asked for a ‘fort out of pillows’ to be built on his bed

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

He also asked for a picture of Grandma Windslow from the US sitcom Family Matters. Again, hotel staff gladly complied and left the print out on his bed

He also raided the depths of his imagination to ask for a printed out picture of Grandma Windslow from US sitcom Family Matters. Sure enough the image was waiting on his bed for his return.

The post prompted other people to share the unusual requests they have made while staying at hotels. One Imgur user said he asked for three single red M&Ms on the counter and a ‘picture of bacon set on the bed’ when booking a hotel room. He said he had completely forgotten about it a month later, but to his delight staff had carried out his requests perfectly.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

One user posted on Imgur a screenshot of the very specific request he had made when booking a room

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

He said he completely forgot about it a month later, but he and his girlfriend were delighted to find the M&Ms and a framed bacon photograph waiting for him

And the bored businessman isn’t the only guest making bizarre demands. A Nicolas Cage fan made numerous requests for pictures of the actor to be placed around their hotel room during their stay. Firstly, a framed picture of the Hollywood star in the action film Con Air was left on their bed by staff, along with a Post-It note reading ‘Sweet dreams’. The guest then asked for a picture of Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck to be taped to the bathroom mirror.

Unfortunately, staff were a bit slow in carrying out this request – and forgot to give them bath towels – but both arrived later with an apology note.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

A Nicolas Cage fan made numerous requests for pictures of the actor to be placed around their hotel room

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Firstly, a framed picture of the Hollywood star in the action film Con Air was placed on their bed

Finally, they requested a picture of the actor in the thriller 8mm to be placed next to the television and staff were only too happy to fulfil their whims. Recounting their experience from the other side, a hotel worker revealed they had been asked for a framed picture of Sterling Archer, from the American animated comedy series, beside their bed. And another guest asked for a framed picture of actor Christopher Walken.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Then the hotel guest asked for a picture of Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck to be taped to their bathroom mirror

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Unfortunately, staff were a bit slow in carrying out their request – and forgot to give them bath towels

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

But thankfully both arrived later with an apology note – apparently signed by the actor himself

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Finally, they requested a picture of the actor in the thriller 8mm to be placed next to the television.

Again, staff were only too glad to satisfy their guest

Once again the hotel staff showed that they too had a sense of humour and complied with the requests.

Another hotel guest at a Novotel hotel in Wolverhampton asked for a picture of a T-Rex, which was gladly produced by staff.

Meanwhile, one fussy guest asked for one of the beds in their room to be made up facing backwards, with the pillows at the feet.

Ever the professionals, housekeeping complied to the instructions perfectly.

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

One hotel worker said they had been asked for a framed picture of Sterling Archer, from the American animated comedy series, saying ‘Welcome to the Danger Zone’ to be put beside their bed

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Once again the hotel staff showed that they too had a sense of humour and complied with the unusual request

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Another guest asked for a framed picture of actor Christopher Walken, which was there when they arrived

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

A hotel guest at Novotel in Wolverhampton asked for a picture of a T-Rex, which was gladly produced by staff

Bored Businessman Asks Hotel Staff To Carry Out Ridiculous Requests

Meanwhile, one fussy guest asked for one of the beds to be made facing backwards, with the pillows at the feet

References

  1. ^ Imgur (imgur.com)